Chelsea Football Club have just announced they have released a brand new aftershave to add to their corporate branding.

The aftershave, which apparently has a little bit of a bitter scent, is called “Special One” and is by U Go Boss!!

Boom Boom!!

Sorry, couldn’t resist that!

Plus, Avram Grant (or whatever his name is), not even a household name in his own living room!

The Soccer Blogger

It was certainly shock news that Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho had parted company with the Blues and one thing is certain, there will be sports journalist all over the world who will be crying into their beer.

Because ehichever camp you were in, love him or loathe him, you have to admit there was never a dull moment when the ‘Special One’ was in front of a camera and a microphone. Whenever Jose opened his mouth you could guarantee it would be something worth reporting.

So as a little tribute to Jose, below is a selection of some of Jose’s best quotes since he arrived from Porto. It goes without saying that the English Premier League will be a duller place without him.

Is Jose talking to a journalist? Or perhaps his banker, “I’m expecting a deposit.”

Jose’s Words of Wisdom

“It’s like having a blanket that is too small for the bed. You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket because the supermarket is closed. But the blanket is made of cashmere!”
On the injury ‘crisis’ at Chelsea in February.

“Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100% sure that the melon is good.”
On developing Chelsea’s young stars.

“The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.”
What turned out to be his parting shot to Roman Abramovich.

“I would love an Aston Martin but if you ask me £1m for an Aston Martin, I tell you, you are crazy because they cost £250,000.”
Insisting not even Chelsea would pay over the odds for a defender.

“Sometimes you see beautiful people with no brains. Sometimes you have ugly people who are intelligent, like scientists. Our pitch is a bit like that. From the top it’s a disgrace but the ball rolls at normal speed.”
Describing Chelsea’s sandpit of a pitch.

“We all want to play great music all the time, but if that is not possible, you have to hit as many right notes as you can.”
Admitting the Blues weren’t completely on song last season.

“Maybe the guy drank red wine or beer with breakfast instead of milk.”
After a Sheffield United fan threw a bottle at Frank Lampard during Chelsea’s 2-0 win at Bramall Lane.

“A player from Man City showed half of his ass for two seconds and it was a big nightmare. But this is a real nightmare.”
Comparing Petr Cech’s nasty injury with Joey Barton’s bottom-baring antics.

Jose on Jose

“Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.”
Introducing himself to the English press after arriving from Porto in 2004.

“If I wanted to have an easy job… I would have stayed at Porto - beautiful blue chair, the Uefa Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me.”
Making a mockery of those who suggest he is big-headed.

“For me, pressure is bird flu. I’m feeling a lot of pressure with the problem in Scotland. It’s not fun and I’m more scared of it than football.”
Insisting his side wouldn’t catch a cold as Man Utd breathed down their necks.

“Look at my haircut. I am ready for the war.”
Unveiling his new Action Man haircut.

Jose on his Wife

“She is the real manager of family life. You are the star outside, here you are not a star.”
Mourinho admits his wife wears the trousers at home.

“It all depends on my wife. If I am at home, yes, I will see it. But maybe my wife would like to go somewhere. I would like to see it - I like to see football and it is a big game. But maybe I will have no permission.”
Waiting to hear whether he’d be allowed to watch Arsenal-Man Utd.

“My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away.”
Reassuring the population that his runaway Yorkshire Terrier had left the country with his wife.

Jose on Players

“A brilliant reaction. I hate it when players just walk off.”
Following Arjen Robben’s sharp exit down the tunnel after being substituted against Aston Villa.

“As you know Gallas had an unbelievable holiday. I hope he enjoyed it very much in Guadeloupe, which I think is a fantastic place to be on holiday, so he wanted to stay there for a long time.”
On William Gallas missing the first team’s trip to the United States because he was on holiday.

“I did it because I want to push my son to do the same. I also did it because I want to push the young players on my team to have a proper haircut, not the Rastafarian or the others they have.”
Mourinho confirming he’s a cut above the rest with his skinhead.

Jose on Referees

“When I saw Rijkaard entering the referee’s dressing room I couldn’t believe it. When Drogba was sent off I didn’t get surprised.”
Claiming Barcelona boss Frank Rijkaard had met with Anders Frisk at half-time in their Champions League tie.

“If you ask me if I jump with happiness when I know Mr Poll is our referee? No.”
Not a fan of Graham Poll then!

“I could feel immediately the movement. To somebody that understands the game and feels the football, smells the situation, it was obvious.”
Senses working overtime after a dodgy offside flag denies Chelsea a goal against Blackburn.

Jose on his Rivals

“Wenger has a real problem with us and I think he is what you call in England a voyeur. He is someone who likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have this big telescope to look into the homes of other people and see what is happening. Wenger must be one of them - and it is a sickness.”
Astonishing attack on Arsene Wenger.

“Three years without a Premiership title? I don’t think I would still be in a job.”
Putting the boot into Rafa Benitez.

“Many great managers have never won the Champions League - a big example is not far from us.”
Reminding Wenger there’s only room for one Special One in London.

“Liverpool are favourites because in the year 2007 we’ve played 27 matches and Liverpool play three or four.”
Cranking up the pressure ahead of the Champions League semi-final second leg.

“If you’re not a big club, you choose one competition and you fight in that competition and forget the others. Big clubs - we cannot do this.”
Warming to his theme.

“I am happy to be six points behind. In my opinion, Manchester United did not take advantage of our bad moments.”
Delighted Manchester United are so far ahead in the Premiership in January.

“I want to give my congratulations to them because they won. But we were the best team.”
In typically gracious mood after his side’s Carling Cup defeat by Charlton on penalties.

Jose on why the World is Against Us!

“This is the only time we have had to play before United and that’s because we control the fixtures. Just imagine if we didn’t control them!”
Hitting back at Sir Alex Ferguson’s claim that Chelsea engineered their game with Tottenham to take place just 39 hours after Spurs’ Uefa Cup match in Seville.

“How do you say ‘cheating’ in Catalan? Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres and this boy has learned very well. He’s learned play acting.”
Claiming Lionel Messi got Asier Del Horno sent off in a Champions League defeat by Barcelona.

“During the afternoon it rained only in this stadium - our kitman saw it - they tried everything. There must be a microclimate here.”
Bemoaning Blackburn’s pitch-watering tactics after the Blues’ hard-fought win at Ewood Park.

Jose in Defence of Chelsea

“We have eight matches and eight victories, with 16 goals, but people say we cannot play, that we are a group of clowns. This is not right.”
On his high horse after beating Liverpool.

“Entertaining? Too much!”
After the roller-coaster 3-2 win over Birmingham on the opening day of the season.

“I think I have a naive team. They are naive because they are pure and they are clean. We don’t have divers, we don’t have violent people.”
On his clean-living Chelsea boys, after Florent Malouda won a very dodgy penalty against Liverpool.

What the rest think of Jose

“If Chelsea are naive and pure then I’m Little Red Riding Hood.”
Rafa Benitez suspects Jose is telling porkies.

“My wife will be glad about Mourinho coming to Bramall Lane because he’s a good looking swine, isn’t he?”
Neil Warnock.

“He is almost a Yorkshireman with a Portuguese accent.”
Warnock again.

“When Mourinho says training will last one-and-a-half hours it will never last a second longer.”
Former Chelsea striker Eidur Gudjohnsen on Mourinho’s worrying attention to detail.

“I find it out of order, disconnected with reality and disrespectful.”
Arsene Wenger, always one for a good laugh, did not take too kindly to the ‘voyeur’ comments.

“Two finals [Champions League] in three years - not bad for a little club.”
Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard twists the knife after his side, branded a “little club” by Mourinho, reached the Champions League final at Chelsea’s expense.

We’ve going to miss all this!

The Soccer Blogger

Bl**dy Hell!

I decide to take a few hours away from the computer, the TV, radio etc, have a quiet day, a bit of a rest to recharge the batteries and what happens? Just one of the most unexpected stories for ages, that’s what. Unbelievable!

So, whether you loved him of hated him, the self-proclaimed “Special One” and Chelsea have parted company by “mutual consent”. Mutual consent! What the hell does that mean? I’ll tell you what it means, Roman has got fed up, sacked Jose and Jose has agreed to go with a nice “golden handshake” and a big stash of extra cash! Some reports I’ve just been reading about suggest the pay-off could be a s big as £20million (approx $40m). NICE!

Jose not looking too happy, although whatever the golden handshake was I’m sure he’ll cope!

One thing is for sure though, whatever else has happened their has definitely been a relationship problem with Mourinho and Abramovich for quite some time and they have obviously been unable to resolve them.

Chelsea (aka Abramovich) released a statement that said:

“We had all reached a point where the relationship between the club and José had broken down. This was despite genuine attempts over several months by all parties to resolve certain differences.”

Of course, we all know there had been rumours of tension behind the scenes between the two men. You didn’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to work that out. There were very definitely problems over the club’s transfer policy. It is well known that Mourinho didn’t want to sign Shevchenko for example, that was all down to Roman. There were also differences relating to the team’s style of play.

And while Chelsea insist they did all they could to keep Mourinho at the club, they claim the problems had begun to impact on results. Well, you maybe can’t argue with that. They certainly having been firing on all cylinders since the beginning of the season. And their performance and the result on Tuesday night in the Champions League at home to, with all due respect, minnows Rosenborg was obviously the straw that broke the camels back!

So here is a statement that was posted on the Chelsea website:

“It is only right that we explain the reasons behind Jose Mourinho leaving Chelsea and also recognise the immense contribution he has made to the club and to English football.

“We announced that Chelsea and Jose Mourinho had agreed to part company by mutual consent. The key phrase here is that there was mutual agreement. Jose did not resign and he was not sacked.

“What is clear, though, is we had all reached a point where the relationship between the club and Jose had broken down. This was despite genuine attempts over several months by all parties to resolve certain differences.

“The reason the decision has been taken is that we believed the breakdown started to impact on the performance of the team and recent results supported this view. We did not want this to continue or affect the club further.”

I love the way they are trying to ram down our throats the “mutual consent and he was not sacked” bit. Oh, come on, we were not all born yesterday! If there had been any speculation at all that Mourinho was going to be sacked it would have come out. Instead, everyone was taken totally by surprise.

Chelsea were also pretty keen to pay tribute to Mourinho’s achievements during his time with Chelsea (big of them, he only won six trophies for them in 3 years and never lost a game at Stamford Bridge!) and are hoping their recent success can continue.

However you can bet your life that the one thing that will haunt both Jose and Chelsea during his term at Chelsea will be his / their failure to land the Champions League. He arrived at Stamford Bridge after guiding Porto to an unexpected victory in the competition. And it was obvious that both he and Abramovich made it their mission to bring the famous Champions League trophy to Stamford Bridge. However, as history will report, they failed. Mainly because of Rafa Benítez and Liverpool! Two semi-final defeats to the Reds will long live in the memory for Jose!

However, back to the Chelsea website statement, which continued: “Chelsea’s long-term football objectives and ambitions remain unchanged and the appointment of Avram Grant and Steve Clarke is aimed at continuing to achieve those goals.

“We also must pay tribute to the great job Jose did for Chelsea. He has been the most successful manager the club has known and he rightly deserves that place in our history. Jose has been instrumental in putting Chelsea where it is today, among the leading clubs in European and world football.

“He will always be welcome at Stamford Bridge, whether as the guest of Chelsea or as the manager of another club, and he will be given the reception and respect his position in our history deserves.”

It hasn’t taken long for all the speculation to start mounting on the next port of call for the ‘Special One’.

After picking up a host of trophies - including that Champions League with Porto and two Premier League titles with The Blues - there will be a clamour for the services of the Portuguese.

The odds of him taking over from the Brazilian Luiz Felipe Scolari as boss of the Portugal national team while there is also speculation that he may return to former club Porto.

Scolari’s future with Portugal is of course under a little bit of a cloud at the moment following his little altercation with Ivica Dragutinovic, where Big Phil was seen to throw a left hook, during the 1-1 draw Euro 2008 qualifier with Serbia.

Well, it bottom line of all this is that the Premiership is going to be a lot duller with the departure of Mourinho. If nothing else, the man was entertaining!

And what is Chelsea’s first game in the post Mourinho era, just a small matter of a trip to Old Trafford. Ferguson must be laughing his socks off. Let’s hope he makes sure he knows the new guy’s name. What was it again? Er, Avram Grant! Yes, remember him? No, me neither! A man that isn’t even a household name in his own living room!

The Soccer Blogger

Last year’s runners-up and 5 times Champions Liverpool got their campaign, for the very long road to Moscow, off to a slightly shaky start last night away to Jose Mourinho’s former team, Porto. Mourinho lifted the Champions League crown in his last game in charge of Porto before he moved to Chelsea.

Liverpool were reduced to 10 men but held on for a 1 - 1 draw. The red card was shown to the winger Jermaine Pennant for his second bookable offence early in the second half. Ironically, Rafael Benítez, the Liverpool manager, had apparently been thinking of substituting Pennant just before he transgressed for the second time. What might of happened if he had already made up his mind and replaced him? We’ll never know!

Not unsurprisingly as the home team, Porto piled on some early pressure and were duly rewarded when their winger, Tarik Sektioul, was brought down by the Liverpool keeper, Pepe Reina. Reina has proved himself a master of the penalty save on numerous occasions however, he could redeem his own foul when Argentine Lucho Gonzalez duly converted the penalty after only 8 minutes.

However, Porto’s lead didn’t last too long as Dirt Kuyt equalised with a header after just 17 minutes.

Dirt Kuyt equalises for Liverpool in similar fashion [close range header] to his goal a couple of minutes from the end of last season’s Final in Athens.

A long free kick was taken by defender Steve Finnan which was duly nodded on and across the goal by fellow defender Sami Hyypia, leaving the Dutch striker to head in from close range.

However, Porto stayed on the attack but were unable to capitalise even after Pennant’s sending off which happened on 57 minutes. The pressure lead to Porto winger Ricardo Quaresma seeing his shot from just outside the box cleared off the line by Hyypia just a couple of minutes later, it was the closest Porto game to a winner. But nothing was good enough to break down a very stubborn Liverpool defence who once Pennant had gone, were always going to try to hold on the the point they had.

The Porto boss, Jesuaido Ferreira said after the game, “We were always more persistent [than Liverpool] and had many dangerous moves, we should have won. Pennant’s sending off did not help Porto at all as Liverpool used it to increase their blockage in midfield. There were a lot of missed chances that prevented us winning.” Here’s a little fact for you that you may find surprising, Liverpool haven’t won in Portugal for 23 years!

Meanwhile the team that beat Liverpool in last season’s Final AC Milan, kicked off their defence with a 2 - 1 victory over another Portuguese side last night, Benfica.

And this opening night of the 2007/08 Champions League which culminates in the Final in Moscow at the end of May, proved to be a milestone for two of Europe’s most prolific strikers. At the San Siro it was Milan’s Athens winner Filippo Inzaghi that took his tally in European club football to 60 with his side’s winning goal after Andrea Pirlo had opened the scoring. Meanwhile, Inzaghi’s former team-mate, Andriy Shevchenko also hit the 60 goal mark when he scored Chelsea’s equaliser in their disappointing 1 - 1 draw at home to Rosenborg.

This all leaves the two strikers only 2 behind the great German striker Gerd Mueller in the all-time goal scoring standing. Mueller who help Germany to the World Cup in 1974 scored a total of 62 European club goals in an illustrious career.

But things are hotting up at the top of this goal scoring chart as Real Madrid’s Raul kept the pressure on as he scored Madrid’s first with a header in their 2 - 1 win over Germany Werder Bremen. He is one behind Shevchenko and Inzaghi in the list.

The Dutch striker Ruud van Nistelrooy scored 16 minutes from the end to mark Real’s 300th game in Europe’s elite competition with a victory. Real are, of course, the most successful club in the European Cup / Champions League with 9 victories. Although 5 of those victories came in the first five season the competition was staged by in the late 50s early 60s.

Full Results from last night are as follows:

Marseilles 2 - 0 Besiktas
FC Porto 1 - 1 Liverpool
Chelsea 1 - 1 Rosenborg
Schalke 04 0 - 1 Valencia
Real Madrid 2 - 1 Werder Bremen
Olympiacos 1 - 1 Lazio
AC Milan 2 - 1 Benfica
Shakhtar Donetsk 2 - 0 Celtic

The Soccer Blogger

I reported on Saturday about Barcelona’s fall last season from the dizzy heights of a European and domestic double the year before where they were simply irresistible. Not only did they throw both crowns away but their arch rival Real Madrid picked up the pieces at home to win La Liga.

So this year that had to get off to a good start in La Liga, but with the Spanish season only just started, the Barca manager Frank Rijkaard will not be happy at his side already having to play “catch-up” after his team were held to a 0 - 0 draw by Osasuna on Sunday. It leaves Barca already 4 points behind Real.

Barcelona may have such attacking gems as Henry, Ronaldinho but they failed to score for the second time in three games and surrendered another two vital points.

Contrast that to Real Madrid having their best start to a La Liga season since 1992 [winning their opening three games] and the pressure is already firmly on Rijkaard and Barcelona but they failed to respond with any kind of an effective display at Osasuna, a team they would have been expected to beat comfortably.

Unfortunately for Barcelona it is not going to get any easier in the near future as they play the French champions Lyon on Wednesday then have to face Sevilla in the first big clash of the league season.

Sevilla, who moved into second place in La Liga courtesy of a 4-1 win over Recreativo De Huelva at the weekend, have played one less game, also have a perfect record and showed they are in fine shape ahead of the tough Champions League tie on Wednesday against Arsenal.

Barcelona rested Lionel Messi who was suffering from a muscular problem so Rijkaard handed the 18 year old Mexican wonder kid Giovani, who was recently capped by his country, his first start. The young Mexican went close to scoring in the 34th minute.

But overall it was a very disappointing display by a Barcelona side who, if they don’t start playing better and winning soon, the pressure will start to mount and the Barcelona public are very fickle and don’t generally have a lot of patience. I know, I used to live there! The white hankies could be waving very soon [a sign of disgust at their team] if Rijkaard and his men don’t start putting some results together and just as importantly for the Barcelona public, start playing attractive football again!

This is going to be interesting to follow!

The Soccer Blogger