The Soccer Blogger
Ah, the FA….God love ‘em!
Has anyone else noticed how the FA seem to hold their meetings to discuss the important issues, like firing the guy they’d chosen for the England manager for example, over a damn good slap-up meal? Only reason I ask is that after arranging a breakfast meeting to discuss the future of good old Steve McClaren, remember him? a meeting which was to presumably settle their stomachs before confronting the undisgestable reality they’d put themselves and the country in - they arranged their monthly meeting yesterday to coincide with lunchtime at Soho Square.
Now, I like a good slap-up meal as much as anyone, including Bazza Barwick et al, and let’s face it, Mr. Barwick is no stranger to a fish supper, but surely the FA has got more important questions for their executives to deal with than whether they are going to go back to the buffet for thirds!
You would think the more important issue would be to start working on their interview process and start putting together a few questions to ask interviewees because it’s been no surprise over the last day or so that Jose The Special One has started to become more interested in courting a bit of attention (unlike Jose I know) than any serious job offer. And every other worthy candidate just seems to be shaking their heads in disdain. “What, manage England? Yeah, right!” So perhaps we, at The Soccer Blog, could help out Bazza and his mates at the FA a little by coming up with a few questions to ask a potential England manager in the forthcoming interviews.
Let’s start off with some multiple choice questions, to let our poor candidates settle in and make it a little easier for them.
Question 1.
Where do you see yourself in five years time?
Potential Answers.
A) In Poland and Ukraine preparing for the European Championship B) Sitting beside my private pool in Mauritius after accepting a fat cheque from the FA as your reward for failing to qualify from an easy group C) Working as an Art teacher in Norwich.
Question 2.
Do you think Stevie Gerrard and Frank Lampard can play together?
Potential Answers
A) No B) Never C) Absolutely not D) What position do they play in again?
Question 3.
When should an umbrella be used?
Potential Answers
A) On a golf course in winter, but only when it’s raining so hard your nose starts to run B) When performing in a sultry video with Rihanna, if only! Ella, ella, ella. C) To keep your hair dry while your team and country are getting humiliated in a crucial qualifying match. D) I like walking in the rain.
Question 4.
You schedule a daily press conference for 4pm sharp. What time does it actually take place?
Potential Answers
A) 4pm on the dot. B) 4.30pm, well 4.30 ish. C) Any time you bloody well feel like it, mate. D) Don’t be silly! Why the hell would I want to call a press conference! Have you read the English tabloids?
Question 5.
What role do you envisage Joe Cole operating in for England?
Potential Answers
A) He suits the continued square peg in a round hole role on the left of midfield B) I see him in the “Andrea Pirlo” role behind the striker in a truly creative position. C) Wow, I didn’t realise Andy Cole was actually still playing! Just thought he’d gone to Sunderland on holiday.
Now that we’ve eased the candidate into the interview it’s time to get serious…..
Question 6.
Can you tell us a little about your love life at the moment please?
Question 7.
Reincarnation! Now there’s a word! What’s your opinion on that then?
Question 8.
Now, if you’d just like to write down on this piece of paper who your agent and accountant are….?
Question 9.
What are your thoughts on brown paper envelopes and in particularly the stuffed variety?
Question 10.
You’ll be needing a company car obviously, so what’s your favourite super car at the moment?
Question 11.
I know a stupid question but don’t suppose you’ve ever been arrested, have you?
Question 12.
You are English, aren’t you?
And so it could go on, I’m sure you have your own questions you’d like to ask. But you know, I feel that the FA could make this whole process a lot easier and without the need to eat out all the time by simply asking one question. And that question would be this….
What was the figure you had in mind Jose?
Cut to the chase, that’s what I say!
The Soccer Blogger
